Sex - Rape - Child Abuse - Marriage, acceptance

This is a difficult topic but I am trying to connect the dots here. I could very well be WRONG; and I would be glad to be corrected. As said, this is just an opinion - but it is a theory which I want throw out - seeing if it makes sense.

As Benjamin Graham said, no (financial) analysis is ever complete and through until it the analyst writes down the steps and calculations of the company.

Sex: Exhilarates most :) - I mean the union of couples, not the fill in the blank on the forms. In most civilizations, during inception and nascent stages atleast, my belief is that a man and a woman (no disrespect to the new combinations of man-man and woman-woman, this discussion applies to them as well) entered a wedlock as virgins. The chastity of the partner mattered. This is true in many civilizations/religions even today. MSNBC carried an article about Muslim women in France are trying to 'gain back virginity' - or atleast fake it during their wedding night because their in-laws were particular. It is a very prevalent custom (socially) in India that the boy and girl are virgins before marriage. If by chance there was sex between a couple, then it is sort of a moral/civil obligation to get married. If the society finds out about the premarital sex then they force the marriage.

In the western society, there has been a graduation - in the sense that, premarital sex is not considered as a taboo between marriageable partners. Virginity does not matter. This is ofcourse only in some strains of Christian-ism, not all. Some sub sects still cherish the concept of virginity.

Now let us see the consequences of Rape and its further dealings in the society. First, Indian society. A person who is raped (most cases female) is generally seen with a kaleidoscope in the eyes of the public. The outward view is the empathy; people sympathize with the person who was violated and expect the rapist to be condemned (Mannu Sharma and Jessica Lal case - with great struggle was the conviction given - Indian legal system is hopeless and that requires another huge discussion). The inner view of the people on the victim is that the person is no longer marriageable. In the sense, their family will not accept the victim as a future member. Hypocrisy - yes, but it is the society as a whole, hence it is an accepted norm. Hence the raped usually live alone in the society and their family feels the brunt. Families trying to hide the incident (rape) ever happened is also known; primarily in the fear of being social outcast. Re-marriage of widow(er) is connected, which I will try to address a little later.

American ways of dealing with rape is different. The violated person takes the legal way, and this person is sympathized with. Justice is usually met out. The raped, then go on to lead a normal life, in the sense they are taken back into the society - atleast in most circles. People and society do not redflag the person and ostracize them. As a normal person probably, the affected fall in love and marry and lead a happy life. This is very commendable.

I would categorize Child Abuse in the same light as rape, but even more unfortunate. The abused do grow up and move on. I guess Teri Hatcher and Kelly McGillis (Top Gun) are a testimony to this resolve to fight and live.

So now here is the connection. Finally!
The Americans are open to non-virginity in their spouses. They have grown up to the fact that sex is another step of interaction, more intimate, amongst a man and woman. Any person has the right to fall in and fall out of love, and having sex with their lovers is common. Since virginity is not an issue, they (partners) accept a person who is raped or abused. Because it was not the victims fault. So, I deduct that, having an open stance towards virginity and sex leads to the greater good, that is acceptance of the raped and abused in the society.

Now back to India. With the advent of BPO, the workforce and society in India has changed. In Chetan Bhagat's book 'One Night at a Call Center', the author talks about various issues as well as the rampant sex between the workers. Long nights, cover of darkness, frustration on the foreigner (videshi) who yelled at them on the phone during support and other reasons entice the colleagues to go out for the proverbial 'quickie'. The evidence is the finding of condoms on the stairwells and toilets of the BPO companies. In the recent past at the GE BPO unit, the whole drainage system was clogged and when dug up the plumbers unearthed the reason, condoms clogging the drainage. The constant 'buzz' in the staircases of ITPL, Bangalore at night where there are plenty of BPO units are all the testimonies towards a rapidly 'forward' moving culture.

Ofcourse it is a heresy in the families but it is common and fashion now-a-days in BPO cities; Bangalore, Pune, Delhi etc. So in my view, no longer are the partners in India insistent on the virginity of the partners, though their family still expect it as the unwritten law of the land.

1 + 1 is always 2 and their daughter or son in law is a virgin before marriage.

In India as I said the raped and abused victim are silently ostracized - primarily because of the loss of virginity. Now with sex becoming common and being accepted in a partner, can we hope that the raped and abused people will be more accepted for a normal life in the future. Will this 'assurance' give them the will to publicize the abuses they have faced, instead of sweeping it under the carpet. Previously the affected families of the raped, used to give into the society and force the marriage between the rapist and raped. Even though they knew that the rapist is a moral lowlife scum, they were forced to give the hand of the raped to the rapist - as no body else would marry the raped - as the raped is no longer a virgin. Now with the emboldened attitude of the younger generation, will the effrontery in the parents grow on the fact that their child need not be handed over to the rapist in marriage, but there is hope to find an understanding spouse in the future - as no longer virginity an issue.

As I said this is all just a guess from my side. So for all those who say that India is losing the culture (and virginity) because of BPO, there is something which it might be gaining too, a better life for the abused persons of the society.

The re-marriage of widow(er) is slightly different. The re-marriage is in most cases a marriage of convenience, where the new couples have lost their ex-spouses and now they need some body. In some cases the marriage is between unequals - where a rich man with a couple of young children will marry someone from the very poor family , thus giving a life to a girl else she would have probably married another poor person. These combinations are plenty - but as I said they are more of a convenience.

Let us see what Sex brings to India in the future.